Copy of The Surprising Power of Humility, I Don’t Know, and I’m Sorry (TPL Insights #284)
- May 11
- 5 min read
By Rob Andrews
Let’s be honest; when most people picture a CEO, they imagine someone who can deliver a TED Talk without blinking, dismantle a P&L with their pinky, and answer every question with a mic drop. They envision a decisive oracle with a titanium backbone, a steely gaze, and a five-year plan etched into their cerebral cortex. But here’s the twist most leadership books whisper about and very few actually shout: the real superpower in senior leadership is not bravado. It is humility.
I know. Not sexy. Not tweetable. But it is true.
I have been advising CEOs, boards, and senior execs for three decades, and I have seen more leadership careers torpedoed by pride than by incompetence. I have also seen more high-performing cultures built by humble leaders who were brave enough to say three magic words: “I don’t know.”
The Myth of the All-Knowing CEO
Somewhere between our fascination with superhero movies and our addiction to hustle TV, we started expecting our leaders to be infallible. But leadership isn’t about having all the answers; it’s about asking the right questions, creating the conditions for clarity, and trusting the team you worked so hard to build.
In fact, pretending to have all the answers creates what psychologists call a “false consensus effect,” where leaders overestimate how much their people agree with them, and underestimate how much they’re holding back (Marks & Mirvis, 2011). Translation? Everyone nods, no one believes you, and the emperor’s got no clothes.
“I Screwed Up” Might Be Your Best Move This Year
A CEO once told me, “Rob, if I ever admit I made a mistake, my board will eat me alive.” I asked him if he’d ever worked for someone who refused to admit a mistake. He said yes, and he couldn’t stand the guy. “Exactly,” I said. “Now imagine your team feels that way about you but just isn’t saying it.”
Owning mistakes is not weakness; it is the bedrock of credibility. According to research by Amy Edmondson at Harvard, psychological safety, the belief that it’s safe to speak up, take risks, and yes, make mistakes, is a defining trait of high-performing teams (Edmondson, 2019). And guess what sets the tone? Leaders who are humble enough to model it first.
A CEO who can say “I messed that up” or “You were right, I was wrong” builds trust ten times faster than one who doubles down on denial and ego. Humility isn’t self-deprecation. It’s self-awareness in action.
Decision-Making Is a Team Sport
You know what I admire in a leader? One who knows when to shut up and listen. The best decision-makers I have ever worked with rarely make decisions alone. They build what Jim Collins called a Level 5 team: smart, aligned, and empowered; and they lean on it like a rock climber leans on their harness (Collins, 2001).
When senior leaders decentralize decision-making and engage their teams in the process, outcomes improve dramatically. Research from McKinsey shows that inclusive decision-making leads to better decisions 87% of the time and improves execution by 60% (Bourke & Dillon, 2018). That is not a rounding error; that is a transformation.
Still, some execs cling to decision-making like it’s a throne. They do not realize that hoarding power is the quickest way to burn out your team; and yourself. Sharing power is not an abdication of leadership. It is the very definition of it.
The One Thing You Cannot Delegate
You can delegate strategy. You can outsource your calendar. You can even hire someone to write your LinkedIn posts (though you should probably still approve the memes). But you cannot delegate humility.
Humility is the one trait that cannot be faked for long. People can sniff out a poser faster than you can say “executive presence.” And yes, we have all worked with someone who read The 48 Laws of Power and decided manipulation was a leadership strategy. Spoiler: it’s not.
The good news is that humility is learnable. It starts with asking more questions than you answer. Listening more than you speak. Seeking out feedback even when it stings. And above all, giving credit freely, to your team, your mentors, even the intern who came up with the idea you almost took credit for.
What Humility Looks Like in Practice
If you are a CEO or senior exec trying to lead with humility, here are five simple practices that build trust, alignment, and cultural gravity:
1. Admit What You Don’t Know
Say it with me: “I don’t know, but let’s find out.” This phrase is like a cultural defibrillator—it jolts honesty back into the room.
2. Invite Dissent, Not Just Agreement
Have a devil’s advocate in every major decision meeting. If everyone agrees, you are probably missing something big.
3. Own Your Mistakes Publicly
Model what accountability looks like. When leaders take responsibility, others follow suit.
4. Let Others Shine
If someone on your team hits a home run, hand them the bat. Share the spotlight. You will not lose power—you will multiply it.
5. Ask for Feedback Early and Often
Make feedback a habit, not an event. Create channels where your people can speak truth to power—without fear.
Final Thought: Real Power Is Letting Go
I have coached enough senior leaders to know that humility is often the last skill to develop—and the first one to change a company. When leaders are secure enough to say “I need help,” “I was wrong,” or “Let’s decide together,” they do not just model emotional intelligence. They create the conditions for organizational greatness.
So if you are a senior exec clinging to control like it is your childhood blanket, here is your wake-up call: humility will take you further than hubris ever could. Power is not about being the smartest person in the room. It is about being wise enough to know you are not—and bold enough to surround yourself with people who make you better. That, my friend, is how you lead.
Warmest,
Rob Andrews
Chairman & Chief Executive Officer
Celebrating 28 years of Executive Search, Leadership Advisory, and Interim Executive Excellence
Direct: 713.489.9724/ Mobile: 713.301.6130
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References
Bourke & Dillon (2018)
Bourke, J., & Dillon, B. (2018). The diversity and inclusion revolution: Eight powerful truths. Deloitte Insights.
Collins (2001)
Collins, J. (2001). Good to great: Why some companies make the leap… and others don’t. HarperBusiness.
Edmondson (2019)
Edmondson, A. (2019). The fearless organization: Creating psychological safety in the workplace for learning, innovation, and growth. Wiley.
Marks & Mirvis (2011)
Marks, M. L., & Mirvis, P. H. (2011). Merge ahead: A research agenda to increase merger and acquisition success. Journal of Business and Psychology, 26(2), 161–168. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10869-011-9219-4 researchgate.netresearchgate.net+7researchgate.net+7emerald.com+7
Owens, Johnson & Mitchell (2013)
Owens, B. P., Johnson, M. D., & Mitchell, T. R. (2013). Expressed humility in organizations: Implications for performance, teams, and leadership. Organization Science, 24(5), 1517–1538. https://doi.org/10.1287/orsc.1120.0795 ideas.repec.org+6scirp.org+6faculty.washington.edu+6
